Random Holiday Thoughts from the Dog
Random holiday thoughts from the dog:
Ever wonder what your dog is thinking? Of course you do! We all do! During the holiday season, there are so many changes taking place inside our homes and our poor pups look at us like we've gone crazy. (Truth be told - we all go a little crazy this time of year, but that's not the point.) Well, pet parents, wonder no more! The Guild of Shepherds and Collies present "Random Holiday Thoughts from the Dog", which should explain the looks your dog has been giving you, as well as give you a good laugh for the day. Don't forget to share it with your friends, too!
"You built a gingerbread house, you say? And now it’s missing? Nope, haven’t seen it. What? I have a gum drop stuck in my teeth? I have NO idea how that got there."
"Are those antlers tied to my head?"
10 p.m.: "I don’t care if it’s colder at the North Pole. I am NOT going outside!"
4 a.m.: "You know, it’s a lot colder at the North Pole. Let me out! Let me out! Let me out!"
"You got me my own ham for the holidays!?! Oh it’s delicious! It’s wonderful! It’s… Wait, why are you yelling 'Bad dog!?!'"
"Why does the fat guy get the milk and cookies? He doesn’t need them and what’s he ever done for us? I’m the one who alerts you every day to the dangers of the mailman trying to break in and harm us all. Come to think of it, Santa and the mailman might be related. I’ve never seen them both at the same time."
"Oh, you may think it’s funny that 'ho ho ho' sounds just like 'no no no', but it’s giving me a complex."
"If you put crunchy little figures in a 'manger' on the floor, under the tree, don’t be surprised when they get chewed on. Where do you usually put my toys? On. The. Floor."
"You bring one of my favorite things to pee on in to the house and then get mad when I pee on it? What gives?!? Did the cat put you up to this?"
"If you make, set down, and leave the eggnog, I will find, drink and barf up the eggnog. You do your thing and I’ll do mine. No judging."
"You stand under some hanging twigs and kiss. I sniff your butt while you do it. It’s all that same, really."
"My howling only enhances your caroling. Trust me."
"Yes I know that’s Aunt Esther’s infamous fruitcake and no, I won’t eat it either. Yes I do consume garbage on occasion; I’m still not touching the fruitcake."
"Why don’t we just call my little accident a “yule log” and no one has to go on the naughty list?"
"That 'Elf on a shelf' thing is creepy. Stop it."
"Why does my poop suddenly have cellophane in it and smell like peppermint? It’s not that I don’t like it, I’m just asking."
Happy Howlidays,
Dawg
Article By:
Lisa Bofenkamp
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